Over 102963

Kitchen Demotivational Poster

A TRUE WOMAN - She rightfully defends her territory... the kitchen. Now...stop playing around and make me a sammich!

TAGS: real woman warrior kitchen sammich tits
Rating: 4.12/5

More motifakes by Cubbybear

Azzameen85 - July 22, 2011, 7:27 am
Reminds me of my ex... I was never allowed in the kitchen and she was a great cook.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - December 21, 2010, 2:45 pm
BennyChick - April 5, 2010, 6:42 pm
Cubbybear - April 2, 2010, 11:02 pm
Aggy knows his utensils
agdaniele - April 2, 2010, 8:51 pm
A quick lesson in defensive posturing.... the grill is clearly a coooling rack, which a woman (baker) should know. Secondly, if it was seen as a grill, it'd draw the man closer in, and by the time he was within reach, blammo! cheese grater hand job!
agdaniele - April 2, 2010, 8:49 pm
Barbecue me a sammich!
BennyChick - April 2, 2010, 8:47 pm
why does she have something for a grill as a shield? GRILLS ARE FOR MEN!!!

OCCUPY .................. -

FOR MEN WHO THINK - A woman's place is in the kitchen, just remember that's where the knives are kept.

TAGS: men who think women kitchen
Rating: 4.66/5

More motifakes by Budog

M0rd3kaI - April 25, 2012, 5:59 pm
Good thing then, wouldn't want to venture too close to that after the warning in this poster
thecrotchetyoldcynic - April 25, 2012, 3:21 pm
I suppose it's all right. The wife usually keeps the salt on the dinner table, far away from the kitchen :D
Budog - April 24, 2012, 2:19 pm
This is another one that "Ass My Laugh off" on facebook has already ripped off...
M0rd3kaI - April 24, 2012, 12:34 pm
I didn't say anything about firearms nor women... but then again, with microchips these days XD
M0rd3kaI - April 24, 2012, 12:33 pm
Sarcasm is best achieved with a pinch of salt... should I go get you some?
thecrotchetyoldcynic - April 23, 2012, 8:26 pm
The chest is not what they go for. Look at Lorena Bobbitt, she DIDN’T plunge a knife through her husband’s chest.
lgvernon - April 23, 2012, 10:17 am

With all due respect, what you guys know about guns, knives, and women can be stuffed into the cap of an acorn.
spypengen - April 22, 2012, 7:59 pm
they may have the knives but men have the guns 5L for the lols
M0rd3kaI - April 22, 2012, 7:03 pm
Not the type of knives that are worth shoving into a persons chest, blades are too thin. nice one Budog

"GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN!" - Yeah! That's a very wise thing to shout to your wife, isn't it?

TAGS: sexism trope kitchen knives pwned
Rating: 4.84/5

More motifakes by HypercatZed

thecrotchetyoldcynic - October 10, 2016, 6:31 pm
I actually know of a few men who are still off that belief. Needless to say I'm no longer their friend.
tellitlikeitis - October 15, 2011, 6:35 pm
Good one - picture and original text.


TAGS: kitchenville farmville sexist sexism
Rating: 3.16/5

More motifakes by Anonymous

jameswnash - January 24, 2011, 10:09 pm
Donkasaurus - January 24, 2011, 3:42 pm
Whats an err woman?

WE GOT HER - She had escaped from the kitchen !

TAGS: we got her escaped kitchen
Rating: 3.7/5

More motifakes by Budog

tugglug - June 16, 2013, 4:48 pm
WELL PUT HER BACK! I wanted my samich TEN MINITS ago!


TAGS: your comment about the kitchen would you like to repeat it
Rating: 4.68/5

More motifakes by MustyK

shurublues - June 21, 2012, 4:44 pm
You sure it's a woman? Check that volume inside its pants.
rasicar - May 20, 2011, 4:46 pm
Safety's on...
andnowforme0 - February 8, 2011, 11:07 pm
umm, yes I believe my exact words were "get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich." Are you even sure if that's the right end to hold?
5150monkeylove - January 8, 2011, 3:34 pm
Sammich? That will do pig.........That will do... XD
autumnspirit - January 8, 2011, 3:31 pm
Sammich is all you're getting from this gal! lol Love it! 5L's
FredricT - January 8, 2011, 8:50 am
Better be using that to protect my sammich
npayton08 - June 6, 2010, 6:46 pm
what you gonna do with that use it to screw in the lightbulb IN the KITCHEN?? i said cheeze sammich
thatonechick - April 28, 2010, 11:40 am
LMAO @ GS... I typed that in, but deleted it. :P
GreyScorpion - April 28, 2010, 11:38 am
Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more...
matrice666 - April 28, 2010, 11:32 am
..so, this is love !!!
BriaHere - April 27, 2010, 7:58 pm
Eat bullets >_
Zealot - April 27, 2010, 7:10 pm
*whips out shotgun 6 gauge* yes. it has everything i need to make dinner. thank you
usaf1995 - April 27, 2010, 5:31 pm
hmm..a women with an L96A3 sinper rifle...i would most likey shit my self before even thinking about kitchen. 5 BULLETS FOR YOU( NOT TO USE ON ME)
palmat - April 27, 2010, 4:00 pm
try not to shoot yourself on the way to the kitchen and go make me a sandwich

DREAMS - Sometimes, they come true.

TAGS: sammich women men kitchen funny
Rating: 4/5

More motifakes by Pillow34

Verdeckt - June 7, 2011, 8:04 am
is that BACON on those sammiches??? Dreams really do come true..


TAGS: back to the kitchen
Rating: 4.55/5

More motifakes by Airman

NickDahlmier - March 10, 2016, 11:03 am
Back when there was spaghetti & macaroni... But no pasta!

THE SHORT BUS - It is kind of hard denying you ride it when it is parked in your kitchen

TAGS: shortbus kitchen
Rating: 4.24/5

More motifakes by dporter8462

spacedog - October 5, 2012, 1:33 pm
*snicker* I'd tell everyone it was there to pick up my kid sister.

SOUP KITCHEN POOR - Just because you can't afford food doesn't mean you can't afford a blackberry.

TAGS: obama soup kitchen mitchelle
Rating: 3.09/5

More motifakes by CoryBantic23

Buzzramjet - July 27, 2012, 10:52 pm
A lot of states give homeless people cell phones with anywhere from 60 to 180 minutes. As well being hungry doesn't mean you are homeless.
Gamedoc - April 14, 2012, 8:27 am
BTW, the motifake still is hilarious, because irony is always funny. =)
Gamedoc - April 14, 2012, 8:25 am
The cell phone, I mean.
Gamedoc - April 14, 2012, 8:25 am
Funny, I knew a guy who slept in our company's alley up until we hired him as a night watchman (slightly better pay, and comes with your own camper to sleep in.) Turned out he didn't want to live with his family, but they worried, so his sister paid 4 it.
Sean - May 19, 2009, 9:40 pm
Hey LogicDude, isn't it passed your bedtime? Or do you have one of those unfrtunate blue pill related complications that you shoud consult your physician about, given that you're now at hour seven?
LogicDude - May 19, 2009, 9:35 pm
To the guy he stole it from.
Jmac0585 - May 19, 2009, 6:40 pm
Where does the bill get sent?


TAGS: men love sandwich couples kitchen
Rating: 4.53/5

More motifakes by djrcreative

chalkman3 - January 31, 2012, 8:20 pm
ok sorry
Mooooooooooooooooooo - January 30, 2012, 5:46 pm
I would. But only because the "you're doing it wrong" Jokes have gotten old.....and I mean O.L.D.
chalkman3 - January 30, 2012, 4:40 pm
5L's love it, but would you care if i used this then said: Love, Your doing it wrong
djrcreative - January 14, 2012, 11:03 am
Yeah, but he loves sex, and is soooo getting laid.
ICEMAN - January 14, 2012, 3:54 am
Don't do it! Don't do it!!!

HONEY.........??? -

TAGS: noise kitchen popcorn
Rating: 4.92/5

More motifakes by Anonymous

spindle - June 25, 2011, 1:06 pm
Thaaaat's right....take off your shoes. Don't wanna get that couch dirty now....do we?
psychosythe - February 7, 2011, 7:40 am
i wonder if he is his wifes emergency contact cause he must have a high phone bill if so
showmeone - January 30, 2011, 12:15 am
..looks like one of those days ya just don't want to get up...
firedog911 - January 29, 2011, 8:05 am
Funny... funny... funny.
tellitlikeitis - January 26, 2011, 12:28 pm
Good one.

AH THE GOOD 'OL DAYS - When women accepted their natural place


TAGS: women in kitchen
Rating: 4.86/5

More motifakes by Airman

spacedog - June 9, 2011, 7:27 pm
LMAO! It's the same the world over.


TAGS: female hormones class kitchen sammich
Rating: 4.42/5

More motifakes by agdaniele

TheTrashHeap - June 27, 2010, 4:38 pm
While similar to 105600 there are many differences between the two. Both are well done. This stands on it's own merit.
Anonymous2 - June 27, 2010, 2:41 pm
Meh. Would've been better if it was before http://www.motifake.com/geography-of-a-woman-motifake-service-announcement-demotivational-poster-105600.html

THE HORSE MAN - Some one give that guy some mushrooms

MOM? -

TAGS: kitchen voice
Rating: 4.75/5

More motifakes by Sho

Sho - May 13, 2012, 11:19 pm
Absolutely not. Although a story told by whatever that was downstairs would definitely be out of this world
GaryO - May 13, 2012, 11:05 pm
Dang, Sho, a trowel? She didn’t smooth you to death, did she? Reminds me of a tile job that just wouldn’t finish at a decent hour, and the boys were hollerin’ for a bedtime story. You weren’t hollerin’ for a bedtime story, were ya Sho?
Reality Lord - May 8, 2012, 6:47 am

Hair...rising...back of my neck.....again....
Zetmonk - May 7, 2012, 6:21 am
Damn, that's unpleasant!


REALIZATION - the sound of running water, and the occasional 'ding' from the stove timer, may interfear with your musical carrer

TAGS: women sexisum sexist joke funny kitchen running water stove music musician
Rating: 1.76/5
GoForthAndDie - October 13, 2008, 7:42 pm
Thank you kindly :)
hackabilia - October 13, 2008, 7:34 pm
GoForthAndDie - October 13, 2008, 3:57 pm
How does this have a score of under 1? I'd like to give 0 poodlions too (or preferably negative).
amy - August 13, 2008, 12:34 pm
good thing i don't have a stove timer then huh.
Motifake Wit Liberation Front - August 13, 2008, 12:04 pm
This is the hundredth google based poster I've seen. I shall register my contempt for the phenomenon by naming it 'googlerfake'. sigh.

HER PLACE - Is certainly not in the kitchen

TAGS: kitchen place
Rating: 3.53/5

More motifakes by agdaniele

Trocki - March 13, 2009, 4:03 pm
OMG... Her place is so not in the kitchen. It's in the bedroom... and the bathroom, and the kitchen, and the back yard, and the living room. In fact, I wouldn't be satisfied until it was in EVERY room of the house.
Moar - February 5, 2009, 2:54 pm
lol'd at the poster. Didnt lol at the comments...
Scorpio7 - December 25, 2008, 1:09 pm
Fine. You have her in the shower, and I will have her in the bedroom.
Hootie - December 17, 2008, 6:08 am
Its in the shower with me


TAGS: skiing women kitchen
Rating: 4.63/5

More motifakes by Faceplant31

Faceplant31 - July 27, 2010, 8:08 pm
I like how well the pic fit the joke not to make this one. Thanks all
crankyhead - July 27, 2010, 12:10 am
5 nights of sleeping on the couch. LOL
agdaniele - July 26, 2010, 11:32 pm
pieman - July 26, 2010, 9:36 pm
There could be if she spilled the laundry detergent on the way down to clean your clothes.
ICEMAN - July 26, 2010, 9:23 pm
You definitely like to live dangerously, eh Face? 5



TAGS: girl guy kitchen slap
Rating: 2.58/5

More motifakes by srj111

suzieq - January 30, 2012, 5:59 pm
you can't, but you still can ask the rest of the village to vote, if they have a computer and electricity, that is :)
mariand - January 30, 2012, 9:14 am
I wish I could vote more than 5...hahaha
suzieq - January 30, 2012, 8:00 am
nice try :)
PinkPomeranian - January 29, 2012, 11:16 pm
Now make me a sammitch'!!


TAGS: kitchen appliances keep on smiling milkman
Rating: 4.57/5

More motifakes by tellitlikeitis

Neener - October 20, 2010, 2:12 pm
If he asks if you have a webcam just say no.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - October 20, 2010, 2:11 pm
You're welcome pretty lady..........I'm not being a perv (right now)...I just like having women on Motifake.
tellitlikeitis - October 20, 2010, 2:09 pm
Thanks Mooooo.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - October 20, 2010, 11:54 am
I 5'd it...funny stuff.
AdmiralAckbar - October 20, 2010, 11:52 am
he said slant
Reality Lord - October 20, 2010, 7:51 am

nice to have a womans slant on things.
rerun - October 19, 2010, 11:11 pm

funny. I think I will run the "dairy pillows" line on my wife.
tellitlikeitis - October 19, 2010, 10:30 pm
Well, apparently, you're approving. Thanks for this site... it's a good outlet.
5150monkeylove - October 19, 2010, 10:28 pm
I have never been known for good taste. My weak posters prove it.
tellitlikeitis - October 19, 2010, 10:26 pm
Thanks again! But unfortunately, this will never be a 5'er. Besides, we all know that postive feedback is the best.
5150monkeylove - October 19, 2010, 10:20 pm
This was great. 5 dirty pillows
tellitlikeitis - October 19, 2010, 9:38 pm
Thanks for the positive comments!
spacedog - October 19, 2010, 9:35 pm
GreyScorpion - October 19, 2010, 8:47 pm
hehehe, "dairy pillows", 5L


TAGS: simulated reality sims kitchen pzy
Rating: 4.26/5

More motifakes by pzykosiz

pieman - February 17, 2011, 4:49 pm
Can't even win at the game of Life. 5L


TAGS: womans watch kitchen
Rating: 3.8/5

More motifakes by ronsart

Mooooooooooooooooooo - July 26, 2009, 4:23 pm
Yeah....but how do you fix a dishwasher?...5.

BARGAINS - Aren't always what they seem

THE ITALIAN KITCHEN - Where pizza peels have two uses, and one of them is not pizza.

TAGS: the angry italian kitchen
Rating: 2.9/5

More motifakes by crackers411

crackers411 - July 24, 2011, 3:26 pm
*new idea* he he he... TO GOOGLE IMAGES!
Verdeckt - July 24, 2011, 7:16 am
Sheesh.. What is it with Germans and ovens?...
crackers411 - July 23, 2011, 10:42 pm
The girl in this pic is actualy me. This is my German/Hungarian side wheraring my italian side as a mask. (that made no sence >.>)


TAGS: kitchen aid prosthetics
Rating: 4.07/5

More motifakes by Faceplant31

Faceplant31 - April 16, 2010, 4:40 pm
ROR matt, im sure glad i wont be alone in hell!
Fatt Matt - April 16, 2010, 4:20 pm
damn dude... hahahaha! Looks like he has a lacrosse game after this.
Faceplant31 - April 16, 2010, 10:12 am
Why thank you grey. I always eff something up when i over think it or rush and in this case i did neither, so im just a bit retarded, thats all. Thanks guys
GreyScorpion - April 15, 2010, 9:49 pm
I like that you didn't waver from your trademark ;) 5L
MrRandom - April 15, 2010, 8:16 pm
Soooooooooooooo terrible. 5l


TAGS: sarah palin vpilf get back to kitchen fail gb2
Rating: 1.03/5
R.S.Jake - April 13, 2010, 6:02 pm
No shit! All these comments and not a SINGLE vote! Nice, some kinda record! I'd totally do her too. Just fyi.
Fatt Matt - April 13, 2010, 5:51 pm
This poster is gold just for the comments.
THeDRiZZLe - November 14, 2008, 7:58 pm
Quotes from the HUstler Sara Palin Porno: PALIN: (seductively) You're in luck. I fully support off-shore and on-shore drilling. PALIN: God almighty! You are hung like a moose. Now I have to eat ya!
Todd Palin - November 14, 2008, 7:15 pm
My snowmachine is broken. Can I walk there?
Gordie Howe - November 14, 2008, 7:14 pm
For my next trick, I'll open a restaurant... ON THE MOON! It's called Low G's! Our signature dish is Hockey Mom Hockey Fries with Queso del Luna cheese sauce! Mmm, Moontastic!
Sean - November 14, 2008, 7:04 pm
Gordie Howe ... is there anything he can or can't do, or undo? Or redo? Dude has done it all. He founded Africa, ya know?
Gordie Howe - November 14, 2008, 3:51 am
Slap shot! Upside the head, Tim Berners-Lee!! As we say in Africa, "I am teh l33t [email protected], bitch!" Grrrr!
Tim Berners-Lee - November 13, 2008, 7:45 pm
Damn kids.. get the hell off my internets.
Porcelina - November 13, 2008, 7:41 pm
Um, actually. I, Brittany Marie ******** Created the internets, fucking numb nutts.
english--and proud - November 13, 2008, 7:38 pm
just to re-educate the morons amongst you..Tim Berners-lee invented the internet ..English ..of course..Fucking numb nutts
Sean - November 13, 2008, 5:00 pm
AFRICA ... a country founded by inernet inventor, and NHL Hall of Famer, Gordie Howe.
Ag218 - November 13, 2008, 4:49 pm
I'd have to go along with Logic Dude's comment! I think the Africa thing is like how people say that Al Gore said he invented the Internet. We all know it was NHL Hall of Famer Gordie Howe.
Durrr - November 13, 2008, 4:48 pm
Africa is too a country ya dee da Dee's!
So what if she thinks Africa is a country? - November 8, 2008, 12:01 pm
That would make her feel at home in Motifake
Motifake Wit Liberation Front - November 7, 2008, 12:28 pm
ROFLMAO!! She's the Yoko of the Republican party, only without the artistic talent. I just heard (seriously) that she thought that Africa was a country!!!
LogicDude - November 7, 2008, 12:24 pm
So you're saying she was McCain's Yoko?
Motifake Wit Liberation Front - November 7, 2008, 12:23 pm
GB, GB, GB to where you once belonged, Get back Jojo
Scorpio7 - November 7, 2008, 12:01 pm
GB2 Obscurity
LogicDude - November 7, 2008, 11:52 am
GB2 Bedroom


TAGS: smart ass wife kitchen regret
Rating: 4.87/5

More motifakes by Reality Lord

5150monkeylove - September 12, 2010, 4:47 pm
5L! most clever
fascistfrenchman - August 17, 2010, 10:59 pm
5 Lions, no points off for improper spelling of themselves.
pzykosiz - August 16, 2010, 1:06 am
it's so life like
agdaniele - August 16, 2010, 1:04 am
5 alrewady been done lions

Ninja Blenders -

TAGS: kitchen appliances for ninjas shhhhh
Rating: 4.82/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

spacedog - June 24, 2013, 6:05 pm
spacedog - June 24, 2013, 6:03 pm
In the voice of Troy McClue: (yells over screaming appliance) "Is it on?"
thecrotchetyoldcynic - June 24, 2013, 12:58 am
And that's why the Ninja blender was created; to really disprove the noise of the Calvary blender, that you don't need excessive noise to make a smoothie, lol.
CloudchaserS - June 24, 2013, 12:08 am
Blenders and a lot of other products are intentionally not made to be quiet because people tend to think that something noisy is more powerful.
lgvernon - June 23, 2013, 11:38 pm

That's what I meant, Mashi! Sounds like a jet!~
MashiMashi - June 23, 2013, 11:04 pm
BULL-CAP have you seen the info-mercials, the host has to SXREAM over the sounds of the whirring blades.
lgvernon - June 23, 2013, 10:28 pm

5L on two counts: The super-stealthy ninja reference and reality. Have you ever heard one of these things? Bwhahahaha!~

Dishwashers -

TAGS: dishwashers dishes kitchen work kp
Rating: 4.77/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

CloudchaserS - May 24, 2013, 12:53 am
What "all the work"? How hard can it be to get the wife drunk? But seriously, 5L and a fav because that's exactly why I don't care to have a dishwashing machine, I typically get a sinkfull done in about 15 minutes.


TAGS: give hope to the kitchenless
Rating: 4.68/5

More motifakes by agdaniele

Sparrowgirl - June 13, 2010, 6:17 pm
nice 5L
pzykosiz - June 1, 2010, 12:06 am
a tad disturbed, but well made 5l's
Bartimaeus - May 31, 2010, 11:23 pm
Snitches get glitches!
Bartimaeus - May 31, 2010, 11:22 pm
Haters? In the motifake hood? lol My digital fo' fo' make sure all their kids don't grow. *click**click**bang**bang*
agdaniele - May 31, 2010, 11:11 pm
I figured it was dark enough to get me the haters.
Bartimaeus - May 31, 2010, 11:01 pm
lol That is too fucking brilliant! 5/5
agdaniele - May 31, 2010, 10:54 pm
Thanks, DSA... if only I could reach that level.
DSATHeDRiZZLe - May 30, 2010, 9:43 pm
WOW...it's like you are channeling Sean! lol

want to escape women's lib? -

TAGS: women s lib united states kitchen
Rating: 3.89/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

Zetmonk - May 1, 2013, 6:42 am
And this only happened in the USA? Odd. Thought I was living in Africa...
thecrotchetyoldcynic - April 26, 2013, 3:48 pm
Women: out of the kitchens and into the workplace. Late 1960s. Women's lib is one of those things that was a good idea at the time, but went a little too far.
Zetmonk - April 26, 2013, 7:21 am
Eh? Don't get it...


VOLUNTEER - (n.) 1. any foolish person who decides to perform hard work with no pay. 2. a person who thinks it's his right to get involved in a matter that's not his or hers. 3. to play hero. (see sanctimonious)


TAGS: men must want a whore in the kitchen and a cook in the bedroom
Rating: 4.32/5

More motifakes by agdaniele

thatonechick - June 13, 2010, 9:40 am
Nobody likes food. All my nutrients end in -ine: Nicotine, caffeine... well, I guess that's all I need.


NEXT TIME YOU LEAVE THE KITCHEN - You'll know exactly what to expect.

ALTERNATIVES - to chaining her to the kitchen furnace exist

kids say the damndest things -

TAGS: kitchen sink
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by ughomer

MissPriss - September 6, 2014, 2:48 am
BAM... and he's back in 5L form!
Greybeard - September 3, 2014, 11:13 pm
Hahaha. 5LMAO & fav'd


Be Careful -

KITCHENS - They Don't Clean Themselves

TAGS: kitchens
Rating: 3.17/5

More motifakes by valliegirl

SteveFurlong - June 15, 2012, 6:02 am
Pretty good picture and a pretty good caption, but these two together are Meh. Maybe something along the lines of "Mommy's tired. Let's help her."

TRUE THANKFULLNESS - Homeless and hungry or not if you serve me canned cran-berry sauce, YOU"LL BE WEARING IT!!

TAGS: thanksgiving soup kitchen homeless
Rating: 2.88/5

More motifakes by [email protected]

union - February 10, 2010, 11:21 am
It's spelled thankfulllllness.

LOOK DARLING! - It's as lifeless and plastic as you are!

FINE DINING - With prices on the rise, chefs have to seek out cheaper cuts of meat.

WOMEN DRIVERS - This is why they should stick to the kitchen.

TAGS: women drivers this is why they should stick to the kitchen
Rating: 1.95/5
rerun - April 25, 2009, 8:17 pm

Nah, she came to the proverbial "fork in the road", looks like she was lunch.
GUEST - April 25, 2009, 6:01 pm
Rhodopis - April 1, 2009, 8:25 pm
I feel sad for your poor virgin penises... :(
CyberFreq - January 3, 2009, 5:28 am
why do they even get licenses; there is no road from the kitchen to my bed

Make me a sammich? -

stress -

WHAT WAS THAT?!? - About ME and the KITCHEN?!?

Vacation -


Cooking Tips -